Colour, Magic & Chilling
My spiritual journey and meditation practice started when I was 3………..errr no it didn’t!! I wish it had! I would be Zen as fuck by now… what did start at 3 and maybe earlier was me drawing, colouring and playing with creativity. I could have opened a gallery of my art by the time I was 4… I was always doodling and drawing. One of my earliest works was an abstract rendition of the Three Billy Goats story, I don’t have a photo so you’ll just have to believe me it was a masterpiece.
Me and mum, being hippy and cool in the desert in Saudi Arabia 1982.
Doodling, drawing, creating has always been a part of my life, a huge part in childhood but not so much as a teenager, my ego, self-esteem, self-consciousness and lack of self-worth kicked in and I blew out the spark.
I forgot about my love for being creative until I had my first child. Being around a child makes you playful and reminds you of the things. you did as a child, one of the bonds we had was drawing and colouring, a tiny spark was back, but I didn’t nurture it so it stayed dim and small.
At 23 I bought a book on Cosmic Ordering in a charity shop… OMG blew my mind… I upgraded, splashed out and bought ‘The Power of Now’ by Eckhart Tolle….OMG what is this???!! Game changer! My life changed, I discovered a new world of spirituality, magic and my spark started to shine brighter.
20 years later my spiritual journey has been a rocky road, with twists and turns, ups and downs and a lot of hard work! I am in a place now where I have a lot of knowledge, and I am trying to turn that knowledge into wisdom by putting it into practice, but I am a flawed beautiful human so it’s a constant ‘work in progress’.
One big thing that I came to terms with and accept finally is ‘this is me’ … I am not great at committing to a single practice, I will never be that person that has the set morning routine, does yoga every single day, prays before bed each night, and can meditate for hours… it just ain’t gonna happen, I have tried, I have forced it…. it’s not me…and that’s okay.
My spark is back, not only is she back but she’s burning so bright, my loves in life are colour! Anything that I can paint or make colourful I am on it… if that’s my hair, food, or even my staircase!
Colour makes have all the feels but Magic, happens when I am in my oasis of calm, doodling, drawing, painting and creating, my brain chatters for a while, and then just like a toddler it gets distracted by my art it goes quiet, it’s entertained and it settles down, then magic happens, I allow feelings, thoughts and ideas to flow through me, and healing happens, creative ideas are downloaded or just a recharging and reenergising happens because through my activity I actually allowed stillness.
Chilling…. you know when people ask you “what did you do today?”….”aww, nothing really, just chilling”… what I actually mean is, doing stuff that I think isn’t important, but has a massive impact on my mental and physical wellbeing.
However you find your oasis, it’s okay, there are no rules to ‘chilling’ and ‘meditation’. Art for me is just my way…..what is yours?
I also realised that just sitting and trying ‘not to think’ only got me so far, it’s great, it works, I like it in small doses but (and this goes against the grain of most teachings) my version of meditation is creating, I get lost, everything goes quiet, the world around me could be burning down and I wouldn’t notice, I don’t believe you have to follow any one teaching or do any one practice, do as little or as much as you want, mix it up, start and stop, change your mind, it’s ok, the Universe doesn’t need you to know it all, or do it perfectly, it just wants you to do it your way that suits you.
Don’t you suddenly catch yourself while reading a good book that hours have passed but it felt like minutes, and all that time you didn’t hear the kids or people around you making any sound… Or you hear your favourite song and turn that wooden spoon into a microphone and for 5mins you are transported out of your kitchen and back in time to a different location?… Do you ever talk to a friend on the phone and instinctively start doodling on the back of an envelope as you are chatting away, giving no real thought as to how or why or what you are drawing…. THAT IS THE PLACE… the oasis that is quiet and still, and ignites that spark.
